ID360 CEO Kim Zoller led a great presentation on the importance of difficult conversations and how having them can help you grow.
HIGH PROFILE’S KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- Difficult conversations come in all forms. A “difficult conversation” can range from giving or receiving feedback, dealing with conflict or someone’s emotions, asking for something you think you deserve, or addressing the “elephant in the room,” among many more.
- Frame of mind is important in preparing for these conversations. Use the “State, Story, Strategy” method when approaching a difficult discussion. This method focuses on addressing your state of mind and emotions (to ensure you can rationally discuss the topic), the story is how you think the conversation will go, and the strategy outlines how to facilitate the conversation.
- Movement, breathing, and language all impact our state of mind, and can help to ensure a healthy state in stressful situations.
- Move around to encourage blood flow, try the “box breathing method,” and use positive language with yourself when preparing for the discussion.
- Have a successful formula. Outcome-Why-Action-Measure (in that order) will help you strategize the discussion. Most people start with the problem instead of the desired outcome.
- The outcome sets the stage for the discussion. Address what you want to achieve and how you want to achieve it.
- The why is your purpose. Identify why you are having the conversation and how the “why” might impact the outcome.
- The action is how to initiate the process and carry through to completion. Identify the particulars such as method of communication, in public or private, and talking points to discuss.
- The measure is how effectively the conversation went. “Inspect what you expect” and be realistic about what you can expect to come from the conversation.
- Make sure that your behavior and brand are aligned. Ask yourself if what you’re thinking, doing, and saying are aligned with one another. Set the foundation of the conversation by aligning these things to ensure that the other party is fully aware of your motive and desired outcome.
- Everyone is wired differently. Emotions can make appearances in these types of discussions, but it is important to realize that emotive reactions do not define who a person is. Emotive people need tools to calm their emotions, and recipients of the emotions should acknowledge and realize it has nothing to do with them.
- The G.R.O.W. model is used for communicating without blame and leads to growth. The G.R.O.W. acronym stands for Goal, Reality, Options, and Way Forward. Each segment of the G.R.O.W. model outlines necessary steps to facilitate constructive dialogue. When used with “conversation mapping” (see ID360 Handout – GROWing Through Critical Conversations), both resources allow for planning and executing difficult conversations.
Kim Zoller, CEO and founder, began ID360 over twenty-nine years ago after working in the staffing industry. Kim’s strength is her ability to be a true strategic partner by assessing needs, delivering sustainable solutions and implementing measurable results. Please connect with her on LinkedIn or contact her at kimzoller@id360inc.com.